Friday, 6 February 2015

Today I thought I would write about itchy and scratchy - um, yeah that sounds a bit rude... but I was reminded the other day that you can never be sure if there is a bug about!  When I first experienced the crawling sensation on my skin, I was laying in bed trying to relax and wait for the twitchy muscles to stop doing their thing... when it felt like something was crawling on my legs, so in quite a hysterical moment I ripped the covers off to find... dah dah dah.... nothing!  This daft scene repeated a few times, and I wish I could say I fell into a heap of laughter - no I didn't - I thought 'REALLY?', is this another thing I have to add to the strange and almost delusional seeming things one calls symptoms, of this confusing and unusual syndrome!

How about the times where you think you have been bit by a bug, just a pinching feeling, and you really are sure it is a bug?  Yeah, well, I have gotten myself into a bit of a state because I was so annoyed with feeling like this - and I have to be careful as I am allergic to many bugs and nearly always have a reaction to them.  So as annoying as it is I have to look down to my legs to see nothing biting, nothing pinching, nothing nothing!  Just my body playing tricks on me.  I remember reading these symptoms (before they happened to me) and I thought it was ridiculous.  But quite often I'll have several days in a row where I feel like my body is being bitten, being crawled on, being irritatingly tickled to find the ghost bugs of Fibro!  Excellent!!!  I'm sure many of you can relate?!  I know its not the worst of it but jeez what a terrible trick to play (said to God or the higher powers above!!!).

Going back to the twitching...  When someone talks about these symptoms individually you might hear someone say it doesn't seem so bad... or if they read about the symptoms and it clearly says not everyone gets every symptom, and or they can be at different times etc, they might think its a small problem.  However - imagine laying there, with muscles twitching, skin crawling, blood on fire, joints killing, restless and unable to sleep, possibly with a headache on those really miserable nights, oh yes and add on the numbing parts if you have them, and BINGO you get a deliriously ridiculous state of affairs!  And one wonders, what to take for them, surely you've been given a list of all sorts from the Doctor?!  Do you feel like a walking pill bottle?  My husband says he's afraid to hug me sometimes because I rattle so much (ha - nah, I really do get lots of hugs!)... but I get what he is saying.  

I have a nurse friend who always asks how I am feeling, and I think she is amazing and wonderful.  I always wonder if she tires of hearing me say I'm alright, this week was a good week, or not (during nasty flare ups).  At least we have sleepless nights in common and share our stories of sleeping pills or muscle relaxers.  I am sure you all have these stories too!  Aren't they fun?  What works best for you?  What doesn't work?  I've heard of constipating stories, zombie stories (that one is mine!), thirsty stories, and all sorts.  It's rather hilarious not to be drug addict and be talking about pills all the time!  

I guess it's just nice to know that there are other Fibro-ees out there that might just know this awful sensation either of creepy crawlies or twitchy nitchy all the live long night (and sometimes day!).  

It may be that the feelings aren't as intense for me now... I know in my last excerpt I said I started Gabapentin, and although the feelings haven't disappeared I think they may have lightened somewhat - although - I can't be sure because sometimes it still feels like there are mega electrical switches being attached onto all of my muscles and soft tissue and they are doing their own thing despite what I want!  So maybe it is a matter of time, or maybe that is all Gaba will do, lighten the intensity... I'm never quite sure because this is the 3rd different prescribed drug that I have taken and I guess I question what is next?  What if this isn't the one?  Dare I try another?  I guess happy drug hunting to all of you!

Off to do some pruning - and I'm hoping tomorrow my body doesn't rebel for it!

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