Saturday, 30 April 2016

My biggest hate of chronic pain... is... false hope!!  I cannot STAND the ups and downs of this bloody syndrome.  Don't you think?  Why does one have to have moments of wellness?  Is it to make us feel better for those moments of illness or pain, or whatever you suffer?  Is it purely to know the difference between good and bad, pain and no pain, ups and downs?  It is a cruel trick is all I can say.  I get duped every single time!!

I recently started Celebrex as you may know.  And yes it has helped... and I had a spate of feeling brilliant, and I was duped thinking this would be it!  I know that chronic means consistent, and continuous, but I always think when I'm feeling better that this is it!!!.... Forever the optimist, has its downfalls. I didn't think that I would feel fire in my blood again.  Why?  I don't know.  I thought that I had found my answer.  My drug.  My somewhat positive sway on my chronic journey.

Maybe I'm being selfish, thinking that it would work indefinitely?  I know, I know.  It is a flare up but because I was sure that this was the answer it was so unexpected... I actually was in denial.  I was telling my husband "I don't know what's wrong", "I feel tired", "Maybe I'm coming down with something"... ha yeah right.  No - it is the dreaded flare up.  The fire was back.  Nights of laying there thinking this too will pass.  And yes, over time it does but it still doesn't feel good while it is happening.  I guess the power of the mind truly does have its time.  After a couple months of feeling quite bloody good, believe it or not I guess my mind allowed me to forget, and the pain was new all over again.  It took me a week to figure it out.  Oh yeah, I have fibro!  Sheesh.  What a surprise!!

However, things do get put in perspective don't they?!  I recently started reading another mindful book, and yes, it does help.  Now I acknowledge the pain, the aches, the twitches, the soreness, and I accept that this is what it is like, and it seems once I acknowledge it, it is much easier to deal with.  So there is some sense in it for me, there is some hope for me, there is something in accepting that it could always be worse, right?  I say to my pain "I can feel you", "I accept that you are there", "I acknowledge you", and "I am moving on from you".  I reckon everyone should try it.  Its almost like if you say it, or even think it, yes yes dear, the old familiar fire, I get it, you are there, and you are annoying as hell, but I'm stronger, and bigger and braver than you, so there!  It is all I can offer at this time, I guess that is why reading anything I can that can help I will!  That is why each of us who reach out with a blog, or with a helping hand, or words that can support anyone else with chronic pain, it is worth the time that you do!

Grab hold of that pain, give it a shake, acknowledge it, accept it, and move on.  We can all get through it together, no one knows better than chronic pain suffers how it is to look ok on the outside and feel like a bag of 'you know what' on the inside.

Thanks for all the helpful words and sharing of journeys out there!  Brave on people!


  1. So sorry to hear the Cellebrex offered false hope. I am just about to try it and i know every BODY is different but this is often what happens to me on medications - some initial relief and then it stops or worse still the bad side effects kick in.

    1. It is ok. I'm still using it, it definitely takes the edge off! Initially, yes it seemed to be a miracle... but I am going to continue as long as it continues to relieve the major pain. Thanks for your feedback!